Existential Realization

I tend to live in a box.
I understand that there are lots of things going on outside of that box but I'm often afraid to venture outside of those four familiar sides that surround me and protect me.
I've lost friends because of this fear of leaving my box.
(Could I have found time to leave my child and go to the bar for a few drinks with a good friend? Yes. But I didn't.)
There is always too much going on inside of my box to even consider trying to take on much else.
I'm not really sure if I'll look back and be proud of myself for focusing so much of my time and efforts inside of my box. Will I feel accomplished for putting so much into my son? Will I look back with regret that I didn't find a way to make more time for the people outside of my box who were so important to me that it physically hurt when I lost them?
Is it selfish of me to exert so much energy on myself and my family?
I ask myself these questions all too often.
Am I balancing things wrong?
Does everyone see the things the friend I lost must have seen?
My husband says no... but he loves me... it's his job to say no.
It's his job to tell me that I'm doing the right things, making the right choices, that he'll support me no matter what crazy goal I decide I want to achieve.
But then comes a message like I received yesterday.
It came from my friend Jodi.
She is an absolute Super Mom who's kids are angels. They are well behaved, kind, funny and they eat anything put on their plate without complaint. Every time I've been to Jodi's house it's been immaculately clean and she's also one of those rare women who manages to look more beautiful, young and skinny after 3 kids than most of us looked on our best day at 21 years old.
Jodi reads my blog (which was pretty exciting in itself cause I really thought I only had 3 readers) and she sent me this message after complimenting my writing.

And another thing, YOU are the Supermom! You raise your son, love your husband, keep a beautiful home, get involved, advance your own education, increase your assets, AND work a full time job! That, my sister, is the definition of a supermom.

And in that simple message, every sacrifice became worth it.
Thank you Jodi!
You re-opened my eyes.