I Quit.

This shouldn't be this hard.
I shouldn't be overcome with an urge so strong that I'm suddenly covered in sweat.
I should be stronger than this.
Yep... it's true.

I'm quitting smoking.

And frankly... I am not happy about it, am not enjoying it, am considering jumping off a bridge, am wondering why I ever started this, am wondering if I'll ever be able to stop.
Originally I was going to try to stop with the assistance of Wellbutrin/Zyban. But I heard it makes you loopy and not "all there" and I realized I'm a walking "loopy and not all there" type of girl already and I certainly don't need any help in that arena.
So basically I'm weaning off...
Normally, I smoke about a pack a day. (I know it's awful!!) That's 20 cigarettes.
Yesterday, on day one of "I don't want to be a smoker, it's not even that cool!" week I smoked 9 cigarettes. Already big progress I think...
My plan is to cut it down by one cigarette each day.
Today, I can't smoke more than 8 cigarettes, tomorrow - 7, and so on.
It's miserable and no one should have to go through this.
But I will succeed.